Today, we will be discussing a video game. Fallout 3, to be specific.
For starters, Fallout 3 is available on PC, Xbox360, and PlayStation3. I played the PC version, so you'll have to excuse me if I miss anything console specific.
The game begins with you realizing that the whole game is obviously going to be fucking epic, as you are born, being delivered by Liam Fucking Neeson. CLEARLY THIS IS AMAZING. Then it gets more amazing when you find out not only is Liam Neeson your doctor, he's also your dad. even though he's a doctor, he has to ask you if you're a boy or a girl, which kinda confused me for a minute, then he asks you your name, which caused me to seriously question him, then he drags a computer down and makes you decide what you're going to look like when you grow up. Excuse me, but isn't that a lot to ask of a newborn baby? Shortly after you decide what you want to look like as an adult, your mother goes into cardiac arrest or some such shit, and you get rolled out of there in a flash of bright light.
Gameplay resumes one year later, when Liam Neeson tricks you and locks you into a playpen, not realizing that as soon as he leaves you will open the playpen as easily as a gamer presses the E key. Wandering out, you are given the opportunity to play with some toys, and then read a book. HEY WAIT A MINUTE! Aren't you still only a year old at this point? How can you read? I didn't learn to read until I was... five, I think. Maybe four. Anyway, I was more than a year old. So not only do you read a book, it magically lets you distribute your stats. Once you finish that, Liam Neeson comes back and depresses you with stories about your dead mother, and there's another flash of light.
BAM! Now you're ten, and you get some gizmo that goes on your wrist and never comes off. And you get a BB Gun. Awesome. Someone takes a picture, and guess what? The flash of light propels you forward in time again. Now you're 16, and playing sick to avoid taking a test. But Liam Neeson is a doctor, remember. So you have to take the test anyway. But the test itself is mildly hilarious, so no worries.
A point I almost forgot to mention is that all of this takes place locked inside a "Vault," a hardcore bunker designed to withstand the Nuclear War, which as I understand it, occurred about two hundred years prior. Makes you wonder why the door is still locked. Two hundred years of living in cramped spaces has got to make the place smell.
So after another flash of light, you wake up and find out that the shit has officially hit the fan. Liam Neeson left, his friend Jonas got beaten to death by the Security Force, and they're all out to get you. Oh yeah, and there are some giant fucking cockroaches all over the place. So you have to run around and kick ass for a while before escaping, at which point, a window pops up asking if you want to change your character. What? Why? No! I just want to find out where Liam Neeson went!
Now to get into the actual gameplay. There are really a lot of different ways you can kit out your character, and as long as you make sure to put some focus into at least one of the weapon skills (Unarmed, Melee, Small Guns, Big Guns, Energy Weapons), you should be ok. The rest just change what kind of stuff you can do. If you crank sneak, you can surprise attack people or steal all their shit. If you crank speech, you can convince people to give you their stuff, or farm experience (every successful speech check nets you some experience points) by having redundant conversations with people.
The biggest issue I had with the game was perspective. The game was designed to play in first person. First person is for faced paced shooters, people. Not for RPGs. You can play the game in third person, but its so clunky you might as well stick to first person. Blarg. When you consider that was my biggest issue, its pretty damn good.
Onward. The game world is expansive, and just running around and exploring is actually quite fun, up until you get blocked by huge piles of rubble and flip your shit. Word of advice: when that happens, try using the subway tunnels. Fascinating places to visit in the game include the following:
Megaton: a town built in the crater created by a nuclear bomb. Best part? The bomb didn't explode! It's sitting in the middle of town, still live. (You can get a free house if you disarm it for the idiots.)
Republic of Dave: a small farm populated by President Dave, his two wives, and his children. Technically a sovereign nation. Also technically led by a crazy man.
Rivet City: An old battleship, and the biggest city in the Capitol Wasteland. You'll be visiting more than once.
Oh, I do seem to be rambling on. Let me leave you with one last issue I had, almost as big as the perspective problem. When you finish the game, whether you live or die, it doesn't let you keep playing and exploring. What the balls, Bethesda? You let us keep playing in Oblivion!
The Bottom Line: Interplay and Black Isle might not have made it, but it's still Fallout damnit, and it still rocks. Could have benefited from more Liam Neeson, but hey. Go buy it. Steel be with you.
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